Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement
by rekkidbraka
Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. No slash. Posted now: Rule No. 6. CROSSOVER: "Rizzoli & Isles." HIATUS FOR NOW. WILL RETURN.
1. Love Means Always Having To Say 'Sorry'

Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Love Means Always Having To Say You're Sorry  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.   
Category: Romance; humor; angst   
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.   
Spoilers: None.   
Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. Super sexy TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Love Means Always Having To Say You're Sorry ---------------------**

"Sweet Cheeks," Tony DiNozzo said, checking his reflection in the bathroom mirror, "have you been using my razor to shave your legs again?"

"And what if I have?" Ziva David purred from the bedroom.

"Well, I hope they're silky and smooth, Honeybuns," Tony answered, frowning as he studied the dull blade, "because this razor is shot now." He scrunched up his face into a snarl, considering whether he should just go with the stubble he'd grown.

"Perhaps I did not use your razor at all, Tony," Ziva remarked casually, "or maybe I used it, but... not on my legs." Tony couldn't see the tiny smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. In the bathroom, his frown became a markedly different look -- intrigued.

"Heh... Exactly what... OTHER part of your body would you have... smoothed out, Sugar Lips?" Tony asked. He raised an eyebrow, cutting his green eyes in the direction of the bedroom as he awaited Ziva's response.

"I will leave that," Ziva replied huskily, "to your imagination, my little Furry Mutt." Rising from the bed, she made her way into the bathroom to join Tony, who smiled broadly upon seeing her.

"So you admit you used my razor?" Tony said, pulling Ziva to him. Holding her in his arms, he gave her a deep, but tender kiss. Ziva brought her hand to his chin, stroking his stubbly skin.

"You are scratchy, my love," Ziva noted, smirking. "Shall I work you into a good lather?"

"Lather me up, you mean," Tony gently corrected, handing her the can of shaving cream. "Working me into a lather means something completely different, Muffin Top."

"And what is your point, Tony?" Ziva asked, spraying a dollop of the cream into her palm. Tony breathed in sharply, watching her.

"Nothing, my ninja," he whispered as Ziva applied the cream to his cheeks and chin, slowly and sensually swirling it into his skin. "You just... go with that whole 'working me into a good lather' idea."

"But you blame me for this... dull razor," Ziva said, faking a pout. "Perhaps I should not risk... hurting you."

"Risk it," Tony pleaded. "I need a good... shaving."

"Apologize," Ziva said, "for accusing me of ruining your razor."

"But you said you used it," Tony said huskily, barely able to get the words out.

"Oh, well," Ziva replied nonchalantly, "I am suddenly feeling... not so in the mood to play barber." She started to pull away from Tony, but he held her fast, pressing her to him.

"I'm SORRY," he breathed, his voice hoarse. "I'm sorry. C'mon, baby... Shave me. Please, Ziva. Please..."

"As you wish, Tony," Ziva purred, smirking as she brought the razor to Tony's cheek. "Now. Would you like to know where I did, in fact, use your razor? To smooth out a certain ... part of my body?"

"Yes, please," Tony whimpered, closing his eyes as Ziva brought the blade down his cheek, leaving a perfectly smooth line where once there had been only white.


	2. Getting There Is Half The Fun

Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Getting There Is Half The Fun  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: None.  
Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. Super sexy TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Getting There Is Half The Fun ---------------------**

_British Airways Flight 162 - Washington DC to Athens, Greece, midnight_

"Tony, are you sleeping?" Ziva looked over from her copy of _Blushing Bride_ at her fianceé, sprawled on his back in the airplane seat next to her.

"SNAWWWKKK!" Tony, his mouth wide open, snored loudly in response. Drool ran down his chin. Suddenly, he jerked in a spasm, frowned and batted at his nose fitfully. "NUUUUGGGHHH!," he whimpered, smacking his lips, whining deep in his throat. Then, jerking again, he screamed "GNOMES!" so loud that a chorus of "SSSSHHHHHHs" hissed around he and Ziva.

"Tony!" Ziva whispered. Tony, still dreaming, frowned again, knitting his eyebrows angrily. He scrunched up his lips. "Tony!" Ziva whispered again, this time a bit more loudly, "Wake up! You are having a nightmare!" When Tony smacked his lips again and muttered something sounding like "Blaglflobm... posleks... Wasist? Mek? Fah!" she elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Tony yelped, jumping straight up in his seat.

"Sweet Cheeks," he gasped, massaging his achy side, "There are nicer ways to wake the man you love up, y'know. Like giving him a kiss or a little caress right on some special area? Breaking his ribs really isn't one of them, though." He went through a litany of pained facial expressions. Ziva cut her dark eyes over his way, smirking at him.

"You were yelling about gnomes," she said nonchalantly, flipping a page in her magazine. "Everyone in First Class was revolting."

"_Was_ revolting?" Tony snarked, looking around the semi-darkened cabin. "Catch a glimpse of El Baldo right across the aisle. He's got a face only a mother could love -- if she was blind. And not the mother of anything _human_." He snickered, sticking out his tongue at Ziva. When she didn't acknowledge his joke, Tony leaned over to look at what she was reading. "_Getting Your Man Into -- And Out Of -- His Tux_... Heh heh heh... Why, you _naughty_ little ninja..."

Just then, Tony noticed the bald man taking out a small object that looked like a stick of gum from his dress shirt pocket. The man glanced around, as if to make sure nobody was watching, held it up and began clicking it up and down in various directions. Tony leaned in closer to Ziva.

"Say, Lamb Chop," Tony said under his breath, "did you happen to notice our chrome-dome friend getting a little snap-happy at this late hour?"

"I did," Ziva answered coolly, continuing to study her magazine. "We will investigate upon landing." She pointed to a particular sentence in the article Tony had taken notice of and he let out a little "Grrr-RRR!," gnashing his teeth teasingly. Ziva laughed silently to herself, raising an eyebrow seductively as Tony kissed her cheek and then whispered something hot and breathy in her ear. Ziva's dark eyes followed the bald man as he replaced his thin, square object in his shirt pocket.

_Athens International Airport (Eleftherios Venizelos Airport) baggage claim - Athens, Greece - 6:30 p.m., next day_

"NO, we will be LATE because YOU should have brought the bag with the HOTEL AND CAR RENTAL INFORMATION as your CARRY-ON!" Ziva yelled at the top of her lungs, attracting the attention of the other passengers from the flight. They tried not to stare at the scene happening in front of them, but couldn't help sneaking a peek.

"See, that's where you're WRONG, DARLING!" Tony screamed back, at twice Ziva's volume. "We're gonna be LATE because YOU had to bring FIVE SUITCASES of SHOES for this TRIP! WHO DOES THAT?" Turning to the crowd, Tony shrugged and raised his arms in a questioning manner. "WHO, I ASK YOU? WHO?!!!" The people hurriedly looked away, focusing on the baggage claim machine, which had now begun to rotate and issue their luggage.

Only the bald man hadn't paid any attention to the scene. He'd kept looking down at his watch and then towards the exit and taxi stands, as if he were himself late for something. When he saw his suitcase on the baggage machine, he grabbed it and made a beeline for the nearest bank of doors.

Ziva and Tony, still screaming at each other, traded looks -- first at the departing bald man, then at each other.

"YOU can just spend OUR HONEYMOON IN GREECE ALONE!" Ziva bolted in the direction the bald man was heading. Tony took off after her.

"CUDDLEMUFFIN, YOU COME BACK HERE!" Tony ran at full tilt, grabbing Ziva by the arm. They both hurtled into the bald man, nearly knocking him down in the process. Tony and Ziva both wrapped their arms around him to keep him from falling.

"Oh, my GOODNESS!" Ziva wailed. "We are so SORRY, sir! Our sincere apologies!" She held the bald man fast, trying to steady him.

"ABSOLUTELY our fault!" Tony agreed, simultaneously pulling the man in another direction from Ziva as if he, too, were working to keep him on his feet. "It's our first fight. Newlyweds, y'know. Ha-HAH!" He flashed the man a broad, toothy smile. The man stared at Tony as if he were crazy, attempting to pull away from he and Ziva.

"THANK you!" the bald man huffed, "But IF you will excuse me, I am now LATE for an IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT!" He wrenched away from Tony and Ziva, hauled up his suitcase and stalked out the exit doors, impatiently hailing a taxi. He got in and the taxi sped away.

Tony sighed, staring at the doors as he placed his hands on his hips.

"Well, THAT didn't work out so great," he said, grimacing. "Looks like Mr. Clean made a spotless getaway."

"I would not say that," Ziva replied, holding up the tiny gumstick-like object. "Tonight we can see what our friend was taking pictures of -- with his mini-camera."

Tony pulled her to him, kissing her deeply.

"How'd you snake him like that?" he asked, narrowing his green eyes. "You have powers I don't understand. Thank God you use them for good, not evil."

Ziva slowly and seductively tucked the small object into Tony's front pants pocket, running her hand along the fabric as she did so.

"You do not think I can be bad, Tony?" Ziva's dark eyes met Tony's.

"I think," Tony said huskily, nuzzling Ziva's neck, "that your being bad would be really, REALLY good."


	3. Never Let 'Em See You Sweat

Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Never Let 'Em See You Sweat  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: None.  
Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. Super sexy TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Never Let 'Em See You Sweat ---------------------**

**_Granada, Spain_**

"Wake up, my Little Furry Bear," Ziva purred to Tony, who lay sound asleep at her side in the mid-day sun. They had staked out prime positions on the beach in order to keep watch on a wanted suspect in an NCIS case. The man, once a navy officer, had disappeared from his ship in the '70s (along with $150,000 from the ship's safe) and for years had been presumed dead. But Gibbs' team, doing some digging, now found that he was quite alive and well, living a life of luxury in Granada under a new name. Tony and Ziva had been dispatched to track him, gather evidence and bring him back to face NCIS charges.

"To-neeeee..." Ziva, lying on her beach chair in the famous Black Bikini, addressed her lover in a sing-song tone. She adjusted her heat-sensitive "special" shades. "My little hair ball... I know that you heeeear meee..."

Tony answered Ziva with an astonishingly loud snore. Two small children building a nearby sand castle turned at the sound, looks of terror on their little faces. Tony lay sprawled out on his beach chair, slathered in suntan lotion, his chest hair matted down from the mix of sweat and oil. At the sound of Ziva's voice he snarled in his sleep and let out a little growl.

"I will not ask you agaaaain..." Ziva sang one final time, looking over at Tony, who moaned something along the lines of "Naglizgummenfrecker... ahhhh..." and stuck out his tongue. Drool ran down his chin. Taking an ice cold glass bottle of expensive mineral water from a small cooler between them, Ziva calmly placed it in the front of Tony's swim shorts. Closing the cooler, she turned her attention back to the glimmering blue ocean.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Tony screamed, jerking awake suddenly. He fell off the beach chair and fumbled drowsily and awkwardly, trying to get the bottle out of his shorts. The two children stopped building their sand castle, stared at Tony again and, this time, laughed out loud and pointed at him. Their mother, coming over to see what the fuss was, screamed something in Spanish as she watched Tony fumbling around in the front of his swim trunks with both hands as he yelped "Ahhhhh... AAAAHHHHHH... GOTTA GET IT OUTTA THERE!!! UNNNHHHHH... WOOOOOOOO!!!" She rushed the children away. At last, Tony removed the freezing, wet bottle from his shorts, lying back on the sand as he whimpered. He shot Ziva a dirty look, which she purposely ignored.

"NOT _funny_, David! Helluva WAKE-UP call!"

"I tried alternative methods. You did not respond."

"Well, I'm respondin' NOW! Can't feel a damn thing!" Tony quickly peered down into the front of his trunks and made a grossed-out face. "Dear GOD! This must be what life as McWee feels like. The horror... The horror..."

"Shall I begin calling you... _Tiny?_" Ziva smirked at her own pun. Tony snarled, trying to get back onto his beach chair. He slapped the sand off his back and rear end, making an angry face as he did so.

"NEVER!" Tony hissed. "Don't push me, Ziva. A man has his limits."

"And yours," Ziva answered nonchalantly, "rarely extend beyond the bedroom." Nodding in the direction up the beach over Tony's shoulder, she lowered her sunglasses and fixed her gaze on another sunbather. "I believe we have found our friend who has spent the past thirty years on the back of the milk cart."

"Huh?" Tony looked at her quizzically.

"Our formerly missing and presumed dead naval officer, Tony," Ziva explained.

"Ohhhh!" Tony nodded, smiling. "Him. Back of the milk carton, Sweet Cheeks. Nobody missing was ever found from being put on the back of a milk _cart_."

"But wouldn't they have not been missing in the first place had they been on the back of a milk cart? Your American sayings make no sense," Ziva shook her head dismissively. Tony rolled his eyes and re-took his seat by Ziva. Putting on his sunglasses, he focused on the man as well.

"Hmmm... In pretty good shape for a guy who's been hidin' out since disco _didn't_ suck," Tony offered. "Looks like he's..."

"... in better physical condition than you are," Ziva finished for him, quickly adding, "my love." She smiled supportively. Tony gnashed his teeth at her and growled. "I think you should go make his acquaintance, Tony."

"Me? Shouldn't _you_ do it, darling? You're smokin' in that bikini. No man can resist the bikini." Tony lowered his sunglasses, eyeballing Ziva's body. She stared at him, rolling her eyes.

"This man can," Ziva said, a smile playing at her lips. "Our intel confirms that he is gay."

"Then why wasn't PROBIE assigned to this case?" Tony demanded.

"Gibbs wanted you to draw him out."

"Anyone ever tell you ya got a real knack for TERRIBLE word choices, Honeybuns?" Tony ran his hands through his hair, sighing loudly. "Why ME?"

"Judging from the photos we have acquired of him and his prior lovers, you are exactly his type -- younger, exceptionally handsome, well-dressed, well-groomed, muscular -- well... Gibbs said you will have to do -- and with quite an openly sexual personality."

"Well, yeah... that IS all me. McGoo could never fit those qualifications." Tony sniffed and scratched at his chest hair. "Guy would know right away it was some kinda set-up just looking at his pasty twelve-pack gut."

"Please, Tony," Ziva teased, licking her lips seductively, "do not get ... carried away with this _intensely undercover_ assignment."

"Worried I'll find myself a sweet lovin' sugar daddy, Z?" Tony raised an eyebrow at Ziva, smiling broadly. Then he frowned, his eyes widening, as he realized that what he'd just said didn't really seem so funny -- to him.

"It is possible the two of you would be quite happy together -- once he got out of prison," Ziva returned, stretching her arms over her head. Tony's eyes traveled the length of her figure. "Be careful, Tony," she added with a smirk, "he is also an avid fan of working out in the gym. The intel says he loves to ... work up a good sweat."

"Christ!" Tony whimpered. "Just my luck to get one who's a gym rat. Probably eats grass and dirt three meals a day, too." He made a "yuck" face.

"Good luck with your new love, my little Hairy Mutt," Ziva teased. "I will have to try to get over you -- someday." She tossed her arm over her forehead dramatically. Tony growled at her and leaned towards her, pulling her to him for a deep, long kiss.

"I told you no man will _ever_ come between us -- and I mean that," Tony said thickly, winking, when their lips parted. Sighing, he got up from his chair and stood before Ziva. "And now, if you'll excuse me, Muffin Top, I'm off to go test the DiNozzo charm... on that tan stud one lifeguard deck down." Ziva snickered, shaking her head in admiration as Tony lifted his chin arrogantly, puffed out his chest and walked towards their unsuspecting quarry down the beach.


	4. Just Do It

Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Just Do It

Author: rekkidbraka

Rating: T

Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.

Category: Romance; humor; angst

Disclaimer: No infringement intended.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. Super sexy TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Just Do It ---------------------**

**Oslo, Norway**

"Do you see anything of particular... interest, my little furry mutt?" Ziva purred, rubbing Tony's shoulders as he lay stretched out on the massage table wearing nothing but a bath towel.

"Yes I _do_, Sweet Cheeks," Tony replied, "...the HEATER. I'm freezin' my nads off! Can we speed this along, Muffin Top? Before I develop frostbite in some sensitive areas?" He shuddered, a chill enveloping him. "Oh no... I think it's already starting. Friction — that'll warm me right up. Rub _harder_, Ziva!" She worked his shoulders more aggressively, but Tony responded with, "No -- not THERE! I was talking about my..." He started to turn over onto his back. Ziva pushed him down roughly onto his stomach.

"I suggest you stop talking _now_, Tony," Ziva said, digging her nails into his shoulders. "Relax, my love," she continued, "and enjoy this special time we are sharing together." Tony grimaced in obvious pain, letting out a little whine.

Ziva continued her "massage" efforts while peering out the duo's hotel suite window. She'd hoped to see the occupant of an apartment across the way come onto his balcony. According to NCIS, the man was expecting a "guest" that Gibbs' team had been tracking globally. This rogue NCIS agent had made off with the evidence from a weapons heist and was working to sell it to a contact in Oslo. Tony and Ziva were there to take him down and bring him back to face charges.

"Ahhhh..." Tony moaned, barely able to stand anymore of the torture being inflicted upon him. "GAAAAAUUGGGGHHHH!" As Ziva's palms pummeled his shoulder blades he winced, writhing in agony. "Naaaaagggghhhh..."

Ziva's full attention was now fixed on the balcony across the way. The apartment owner had come out to enjoy the cold, gray day — and the man they'd been seeking had joined him.

Now she began slap-chopping Tony's back with her hands, causing his teeth to chatter.

"P-P-P-P-l-l-l-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-s-e... s-s-s-s-s-s-t-t-t-t-o-p-p-p-p-p... n-n-n-n-n-o-w-w-w-w..." Tony stuttered, his body shaking from Ziva's too-strong muscle chops. He was getting dizzy; the room was jumping up and down in front of him.

Tony got his wish when Ziva suddenly bolted from the room, having witnessed the duo across the way make a weapons exchange.

"Thank... you... GOD," Tony whimpered, sharp pains coursing through his body. He couldn't move, ironically having stiffened up from the pounding he'd taken from Ziva.

Hearing a series of shots going off in the street outside the hotel window, however, brought Tony immediately to his feet. Nothing crossed his mind — not the stiffness in his back or the terrible achiness he felt with each step he took. His only thought was to get to Ziva, make sure she was okay. Grabbing his gun, he raced out of the hotel room, rushing down the stairs at top speed. She needed backup. Once again, he hadn't been prepared. Furious at not having taken the assignment as seriously as he should have and putting his fianceé at risk, Tony cursed himself as he exited the stairwell, bolting through the hotel lobby. The other guests gaped at him in shock. Then again, they probably weren't used to shootouts just outside their front doors in broad daylight.

Making his way onto the street, Tony found that yet again he was one step behind. Ziva had the situation well in hand, having taken down the NCIS target with a shot to the leg while she had nailed the weapons dealer in the shoulder. Both men were down on the ground, injured but not in serious danger, being tended to by local police and emergency personnel. Panting from his long run downstairs, Tony watched as Ziva received congratulations from an Interpol official at the scene. After catching his breath somewhat, Tony made his way to where Ziva and the man stood chatting.

"Fine work as usual, Sweet Cheeks," Tony said, smiling broadly. He flashed the Interpol official his most dazzling grin. "Ain't she somethin'?"

Just then, Tony noticed that both Ziva and the Interpol official were staring at him. So was everyone else on the street. Some people were pointing in his direction. Mothers shielded their childrens' eyes. Young men cracked up, taking cellphone pictures of him. A pair of buxom young blonde girls strolled by, glanced down at Tony and wolf-whistled at him, winking. The Interpol official's face was beet red. Ziva, however, merely raised an eyebrow at the man she loved, smirking.

And the cold, again, hit Tony at that moment. In some sensitive areas.

Looking down, he realized that in his haste to reach Ziva he'd lost his bath towel back in the hotel room and was standing in the center of downtown Oslo completely naked.

"I would suggest that you holster your weapon, my little furry mutt," Ziva purred, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, "but I see that might be a problem." Her eyes roamed the length of Tony's body. She was enjoying this.

"Looks like you've got things all wrapped up here," Tony said with a loud sniff, trying to act as nonchalant as possible given the circumstances, "so if you'll both excuse me, there are some... things... I need to get... wrapped up... there." He looked up towards the hotel room where his towel awaited him and, turning on his heels with a grimace, casually strolled back into the hotel as if nothing at all had happened.

"The tuxedo he has selected for our wedding is quite handsome," Ziva told the Interpol official, who watched in stunned silence as Tony's naked rear end disappeared from view. "I can only hope he remembers to actually wear it to the ceremony."


	5. Chase What Matters

Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: No. 5 - Chase What Matters

Author: rekkidbraka

Rating: T

Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.

Category: Romance; humor; angst

Disclaimer: No infringement intended.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. Super sexy TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**

* * *

**

**Panama City Beach, Florida**

"Ahhhhhh... Just like I remember it," Tony sighed, gazing at the sunny beach scene before him as he stood on the little patio of the shorefront hotel he and Ziva had booked for the week. "Sun... sand... surf..." Pulling down his sunglasses, he let his green eyes focus on some well-toned college coeds tanning on towels below the balcony. "Sexy sorority sophomores seeking sun, sand, surf and..."

His reverie was rudely interrupted by Ziva's yanking the collar of his Hawaiian shirt forcefully from behind.

"WE are here to investigate a rape claim MADE by one of those 'sexy sorority sophomores,' Tony," Ziva hissed angrily, "AGAINST the top senior in this year's Naval Academy class!" Tony gagged, trying to catch his breath, and scowled at Ziva, who scowled right back at him. "WE are NOT here so that YOU can relive your drunken college days!"

For once, Tony was actually offended by Ziva's remarks about his past. What did SHE know about how he'd spent his drunken college days?

"HEY!" Tony snapped, rubbing his sore neck, "You don't know as much about me as you think you do, ZEE-vah! You've got no CLUE about what I did back in college or WHO I did or didn't DO it with! OR WHERE!"

Ziva crossed her arms, glaring at Tony. Now she, too, was furious.

"So all your claims of wanton sexual trysts were not TRUE, Tony?" Ziva asked, knowing she was twisting the knife in a sensitive place for the man she loved. But she was angry and couldn't help herself. "You were LYING?"

Tony's green eyes were filled with anger. Also with hurt. He forced a bitter smile.

"Maybe I've been lying about a lot of things," he said, looking right into Ziva's eyes. She swallowed hard. Now he'd hit her where he knew it would do the most damage. "If you need me — you know, for the case — I'll be down on the beach. Recapturing those good old days. Because that's the kind of guy I am ... obviously."

With that, Tony pushed past Ziva, stalking off the hotel balcony and out of the room. Left alone, Ziva heaved a heavy sigh as she stared forlornly out at the waves rushing to meet the shore. She had overreacted. And Tony deserved an apology. Looking down at her engagement ring, Ziva felt horrible for having been cruel to Tony just because she'd gotten momentarily upset with him. She was tired from all their travels; all she wanted, really, was a few weeks at home so that she and Tony could get some rest. But it hadn't been possible. There were too many cases to handle. And they were too good at their jobs.

Down on the beach, Tony skulked among the college kids partying on their spring break. They were all impossibly muscular, if they were male, and astonishingly slim and shapely if they were female. Most were drinking, either sneaking alcohol onto the beach or were already drunk. The hookups were happening fast and furious, Tony noticed, and he felt absolutely out of place, even if he was only there as an investigator.

_Wow,_ he thought, looking around at the sexually-charged scene, _I used to really enjoy this._ Then another thought occurred to him. _And I was as stupid and immature as THEY all are. _Tony sighed; he'd been excited at the thought of spending time with Ziva at the beach. Although they'd be working, at least they'd be able to find a little break time for relaxing together by the shore. He'd hoped. Now it appeared that wasn't going to happen.

_And maybe I still am,_ Tony thought, turning away from the craziness around him.

By the time he got back to the hotel room, Ziva was locking the door behind her. The pair shared a moment of awkward silence before both launched into explanations.

"Look, Ziva, I shouldn't have..."

"Tony, I did not mean to..."

Realizing that they weren't getting anywhere by trying to apologize over each other, the two chuckled and, embarrassed at having once again gotten into a silly argument over nothing, shyly glanced at each other, grinning sheepishly.

"So I was thinking..." Tony began.

"Always a threat," Ziva teased, smirking.

"_THINKING_," Tony went on, narrowing his green eyes playfully at her, "that we should take a walk along the beach. Just the two of us."

"And five thousand college kids tunneling beer who may or may not be wearing clothes," Ziva added.

"_Funneling_ beer," Tony corrected. "Maybe I'll tell you all about my old Ohio State days when I DIDN'T get any here at the beach during Spring Break. Because I spent the whole time in bed with the Moo Shu Flu."

"Moo Shu Flu, Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Downed some bad Chinese at a restaurant on the drive to Florida," Tony explained, grimacing. "Worshipped the porcelain throne almost 24 hours a day that Spring Break. Lost fifteen pounds that week and haven't been able to look at pork the same way since."

"Then you were... lying... just a LITTLE bit... about _all_ of your college activities?" Ziva prodded gently.

"Yeah, a little," Tony admitted.

"I should not have accused you of having 'drunken college days,'" Ziva said apologetically. "I was not there and you are right - I do not know what your life was like then."

"But you know what my life's like _now_," Tony murmured, taking her hand in his as they left the hotel and made their way onto the beach. He didn't even notice the barely-clad college girls sunning themselves. Only Ziva had his attention. "And when I said that maybe I've been lying about a lot of things? That was a _real_ lie. Everything with you is real, Ziva. That's what I love about you, Sweet Cheeks."

Now it was Tony's turn to be surprised as Ziva pulled him into a sudden, passionate kiss. The college studs responded with hoots and hollers, chanting "TONGUE! TONGUE! TONGUE! TONGUE!" as their girlfriends whistled.

"Rank amateurs," Tony hissed, scowling at the kids. "Let's get outta here, my ninja. Go someplace quieter."

"North Dakota, perhaps?" Ziva joked.

"Be a hell of a walk," Tony mused. "How 'bout just down the beach a little ways for a start?"


	6. Does She Or Doesn't She?

Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Does She Or Doesn't She?  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: None.  
Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. TIVA. This chapter is a "Rizzoli & Isles" crossover. No slash.

* * *

**Boston, Massachusetts**

He knew he was staring at the woman and, yet, he couldn't stop himself. So far, she hadn't appeared to notice. This was good; confrontation wasn't what he wanted. Not at all.

She just looked so familiar, that was all. Like a ghost from his past, daring him to see if she was real — if it was really her...

"Tony?"

The sound of Ziva's voice brought him back to himself.

"What?"

"Are you alright? You look pale."

"Fine... I'm fine."

Turning back, Tony saw nothing. He peered down the busy street. A mass of people on their way to work, school, wherever met his gaze.

The woman was gone. Maybe she hadn't even been there.

"Tony, are you sure..."

"I said I'm OK, Ziva. C'mon, let's go. Gonna be late for our appointment."

* * *

"Your hair," Jane Rizzoli said, squinting across the table. "You get something done to it?"

"Highlights," Maura Isles replied nonchalantly. "So who are we meeting with today?"

"Couple of NCIS agents from D.C.," Jane answered. "You had time to get your hair done?"

"Why is NCIS coming here?" Maura asked.

"The sailor who washed up in the harbor? Beat his buddies here for Fleet Week? Did that trip to the stylist's affect your memory or something?" Jane smirked in Maura's direction. Maura should know this stuff.

"Right," Maura said. She should have known that. But she'd been distracted all morning.

Jane's phone rang. Answering, she made a few terse comments and again addressed Maura.

"They're here," she said. "NCIS downstairs."

* * *

"I don't like being eyeballed by strange men," Maura hissed. She'd been trying to get this guy — Tony, right? — alone all afternoon without making his girlfriend think she was hitting on him. And she certainly didn't want him to think that, either. He was the type who would, too. Maura could tell. Guys like him annoyed the hell out of her.

"I'm not a 'strange man,'" Tony replied. This was about as uncomfortable a situation as he could've imagined. Now there was no way out. He'd started it; she was finishing it.

"Why were you staring at me?" Maura asked. His eyes were bright and sparkling with mischief but she detected sadness in them, too.

"You remind me of someone, that's all," Tony said quietly.

"Your GIRLFRIEND is right outside," Maura said pointedly. "This is how you treat her?"

"It's not like that," Tony insisted. "You look just like... like someone I used to know. Listen, my partner... before Ziva... she was..."

His voice quivered. The words wouldn't come.

"Whoever she is — or _was_ — I'm not _her_," Maura said bitterly. Turning back one last time before she left to rejoin Jane and Ziva in the next room over, she added, "Ziva seems nice. And she deserves better than... _this_."

Standing alone in the interrogation room, Tony tried sifting through the myriad of thoughts racing through his mind.

_She's right,_ Tony concluded with a heavy sigh. _Ziva deserves better._

_

* * *

_"Hang on," Jane said, trying to process the information she'd been given. "The guy sees you on the street, stares you down and he's our NCIS agent? Here WITH his fianceé? Nice."

"He said I look like some woman from his past," Maura replied, trying to sound as if she didn't care. Looking straight at Jane, she added pointedly, "I told him Ziva could do better."

"Maybe," Jane answered. "I liked him."

"He's a jerk," Maura pronounced.

"Speaking from experience?" Jane teased.

"Let's get back to the case," Maura shot back. She had no interest at all in Tony DiNozzo. But she hoped Ziva would see through his act.

"Had to sneak in that trip to the hairstylist, huh?" Jane joked, trying to lighten the mood. "This is what you get for being late to work today — a date with..." Jane tried to remember how he'd introduced himself, "VERY Special Agent Tony DiNozzo... and his fianceé."

"Thanks, Jane," Maura replied sarcastically. "I appreciate the support."

"But, hey," Jane went on, smirking, "your highlights look fantastic."

* * *

The first crisp, cool air of autumn caused Ziva to shiver. Even the light jacket she'd brought along for the Boston trip wasn't quite cutting the chill.

"You cold, Sweet Cheeks?" Tony asked softly. "Here," he said, starting to remove his own coat, "take mine."

"No, Tony, I am alright," Ziva replied, not unkindly. Her dark eyes searched Tony's face. She'd been worried about him all day. "And you? Are you going to be okay?"

Tony put his arm around Ziva's shoulders. Tenderly, he planted a little kiss on her cheek.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm good now."

"Did you tell her... about Kate?" Ziva asked.

"Tried to," Tony said. "She wasn't interested. Said you deserved better than me. Can't say she's wrong about that."

"She is," Ziva answered confidently. "She does not know you like I do."

"Well, you know how it is, Ziva," Tony said, obviously uncomfortable over the day's events, "when a strange guy stares you down on the street and makes a fool of himself and then you run into him later and he gives you the old line about how you look just like his dead partner, huh? What woman wouldn't find that creepy and weird?"

"I do not think Jane would mind," Ziva teased.

The heaviness of the moment broken, Tony laughed, flashing Ziva his most dazzling grin before taking her in his arms, loving the sensation of her soft lips wet against his, the warmth of her embrace bracing him against the night breeze.


End file.
